Getting Back to it

Friends, how I’ve missed you!  Do you ever find that life just grabs the reins and you are left being dragged from commitment to commitment, obligation to obligation, day in and day out?  Yeah, me too.  And then last week, I started to feel almost depressed.  I could feel I was on the verge of a very dark period, and I had to do something to shake it off.

I was feeling frustrated with my weight, frustrated with my ever growing list of things to do.  I was also frustrated because on Wednesday and Thursday of last week, I was so overwhelmed by all that I wanted to do, and all that I had to do, that I became paralyzed.  And so I sat in front of my computer watching videos, reading blogs, watching my facebook newsfeed like a hawk for any changes, and of course eating everything in sight.

On Friday night I started opening up about where I was headed.  My sister was here, as was a good friend, and we were (duh) drinking.  While I was sharing, and they were responding and supporting, I subconsciously started to coach myself.  And then on Saturday, I again found myself in the company of some more great women, and I shared with them too what’s been happening with me.  And the subconscious coaching continued.

Sunday was my “repair” day.  It was a crazy week, full of activities, and trainings, and business launches and more celebrations.  Sunday, MOMD had volunteered for Doors Open Toronto which had chosen his workplace for their tour, and this meant that I was going to be at home, for most of the day, without a car.  I would be made to stay home.  And that is exactly what I needed.  I tidied, I sorted, I gardened.  I washed dishes, chatted with a friend about the chaos of her life, and I baked for my favourite customer: my family.  While all of this was happening, the coaching started to shift from subconscious to conscious.  I began to craft a plan for dealing with my stuff – both literally and figuratively.  When Monday dawned, I was ready for change.

One of the things on my never ending list of want to do and need to do, was blogging.  I have missed it so…  Another thing was doing what I need to do to be healthy.  Yesterday I stopped – literally – feeding my frustration, and began to listen to what my body is saying.  And today, I am writing.

These are little steps, I know.  Often I find though that the little steps are in fact the most important.