Today is a hard day for me. Just as last night was a hard night for me. And yes, in part because Little Miss didn’t sleep really at all last night, and yes too because she received 2 injections today and so is not her usual happy self.
Mostly though, mostly because my little man Sam started school today.
The month before Sam was born, I left my job at the office. MOMD and I knew that I would not be returning to The Pit of Hell to work for She Who Must Not Be Named, what we didn’t know is that in fact I wasn’t going to go back to a traditional job at all. There has been so much change in my life since Sam was born. And yes, change is really the only constant in life. It’s great to have a partner to face it all with .
That was what Sam was to me.
I am the woman who grew up in the City, a few blocks from where her parents grew up in the City, which was not to far away from where their parents grew up in the City. The City is in my blood, and I was never ever going to leave it. I am the woman who was adamant that she would never have children. And even if the unthinkable happened and I did somehow procreate (because too, I was never getting married) you could be damn sure I was not going to be staying home with the little ankle biters!
And yet: here I sit, in the middle of the afternoon, on a typical work day, at my kitchen table in the suburbs.
I became this woman with Sam. He regularly tells me, “You are the super, awesomest, most best Mom ever!” Hourly he tells me that he loves me. Every night before he goes to bed he asks, “Momma, what are we going to do tomorrow?”
Last night he asked that question, and I said, “You’re going to school tomorrow, Sam!” He looked at me and I swear he realized that our time together – just the two of us, facing the world – was over.
I was giving him a kiss before I went to bed (note I did not say “went to sleep” because who are you kidding?) tears sprang to my eyes and I thought, “This is his last night as a preschooler…” So while he is so ready for school, and I am so ready for him to be in school (all day, every day, junior kindergarten thank you very much!), it was hard to say good bye this morning.
It’s a new start for us both, and he’s now facing his adventures on his own. He’s ready, and I’m sure I must be too… because we always do these things together, me and Sam.